I love a good blogwar. I’ll “own up” to it. Some blogwars are small and boring with no real good characters in them. Others are fantastic because the combatants are two flat out verbal gladiators of high caliber and are not afraid to draw blood.

We have one such blogwar going now. As always, it seems to be “The Sex Positives” vs. “The Rad Fems” (I’m starting to wonder what their gang colors are) and as always, as a blogwar fan and spectator, I’ve noticed things that someone involved with the blogwar might not notice. Sure, I am biased, because I happen to like one of the combatants and I think the other is a jerk, but hey, that’s life!

So in the red corner, standing 5’2” and weighing in at about 100 pounds, even factoring in the size D-ish implants, we have Renegade Evolution; feminist expatriate, stripper, porn performer, college grad, cyberpunk, admitted antisocial, gun enthusiast, and coiner of the violent statement “Fall Under a Truck and Die Choking on Your Own Blood”.

In the blue corner…well, I have no idea what her height and weight are, we have Ginmar; Radical Feminist, member of the US Military, admitted sufferer of PTSD, zombie movie & cat fan, and known for saying “fuck you, fuck off, I’d kick your ass”, and “I wish I could do more than ban your ass” (This I know personally, because she said it to me!)

Both are employed by Patriarchal and Dangerous Industries- the US Military and the Sex Industry. Both have allies. Both are vicious in their verbiage (which we will get to rating with style points later). Both have accused eachother of being liars. Both show a great talent for being assholes and a capacity for violence. In my opinion, both are good writers, both are intelligent, and both can be funny. However, both can also be ruthless and come across as arrogant.

Background, cliff notes style for brevities sake: Amanda at Pandagon writes an article about fake tits and how nice it is that men like small chested girls better because they have self esteem and are not desperate. Ren, having a set of fake tits, jumps on Amanda with a verbal crowbar. Discussion ensues, Ren mellows out a bit. Gin shows up and ignores the topic completely and jumps all over Ren with a verbal .45- suggesting that Ren only ever shows up to participate on boobjob posts and that she, as an expat, has no business being on pandagon anyway. Belledame wades in, as does Flywellyn…massive derailment occurs. I, blogwar observer, note that Ren, of the whole lot of them, is the only one who does not engage in serious personal attacks. She, one time, refers to Ginmar as “Soldier Girl” (which, technically she is) after having been called all kinds of shit. At one point Ren actually defends Gin’s military service, but there is a sense that Gin holds Ren personally responsible for anything and everything that anyone else on that thread says about her. Ren ends up getting gangbanged, and not in the manner she likes, all the while remaining pretty cool about it and not stooping to personal insults. Gin’s anthem is I don’t have to and fuck you and what about… Ren’s anthem is prove it…which oddly enough, for the most part, no one can do. Oh, and Gin is so, so tough and has suffered and Ren is a whiny stupid snot college stripper girl.

Gin retreats to her blog and writes a scathing post about Ren and “The Sex Pox”, Ren reads it, and makes her own response. Ren’s post and the resulting commentary is typically snarky and full of swearing, Gin’s post and the resulting commentary is full of assumption, lies, lame psychoanalysis and personal insults.

This continues to go on and on for several posts out of both of them. However, Gin says Ren is like a stalker, what, with all the posts she has written about her, yet I note, post for post were much of the discussion is about Gin and or Ren…Ren stands at three posts, Gin stands at six, meaning that Gin has in fact dedicated more blogspace to Ren than the reverse.

Now lets look at content:

In Ren’s posts/comments, she sites examples of bad radical feminist behavior (such as a threat), refutes with FACT lies said about her (such as she never posted on the Philly case, she only comments on big feminist blogs when the subject is boobjobs…she did after all, write as a guest author at Feministe…), the failure of Rad Fems to consider that other people do examine and are capable of making choices, so on, so forth. Yes, Ren can be a little “brutish’ and slimy, but unlike her competition, Ren deals in fact and proof rather than speculation and personal insult (aside from calling people general things like “morons”, the Ren Unique term “Meatsack”, and her standby “Cupcake”). She does not knock on peoples professions, lifestyles, choices, mental conditions, looks, ages, offspring, potential offspring, or significant others. She does not deal in assumption. And most importantly, she can back her claims up with proof. Hard, cold, in your face irrefutable proof.

In Gin’s posts/comments, there are declarations that any sex poz is not really a feminist, they are more interested in hurting people than helping them, they do not engage in activism, they are traitors, they are selfish. Ren is insane, a sociopath/narcissist, only concerned with herself, only ever talks about porn and boobjobs, never posts on feminist issues, she is getting too old to do her job (which if you've seen her, well it's not something I think she needs to worry about too much), she hates women, her partner will cheat on her (clue here, Ren & Mr. E are swingers, they both have sex with other people, they've been together for a looooong time and I think, techinically, she makes as much if not more money than he does), she is spoiled & lazy, she is dishonest and with no honor, she has not suffered at all in life, she is stupid, she is selfish and vicious, she is snotty and constantly plays the victim and whines. Now, never mind that anyone who can read knows half of this shit is erroneous at best and flat out lies at worst, but there is no proof, there is no hard fact, and it is laced with personal insults, slut shaming and why yes, misogyny! There is also a vicious, totally unwarranted attack upon a pregnant woman and speculation that her child will be a rapist by the time he hits high school and plenty Belledame bashing too.

Interesting, no? It is also important to note that Ren, often accused of silencing people, allows those who do not agree with her (History Mom, Anonymous Rad Fem) to comment on her blog and does not tell people where or where not they should be commenting. Gin does not. Ren has also posted any time a female blogger has been threatened, hacked, blackmailed or intimidated into silence. Gin has not. When someone at Ren’s blog, even those with an opposing view point shows up and says “What about_____?” Ren publishes the question and allows answers. Questions like this are also asked on Gin’s blog, but those who would answer them would never be published.

Now, let us look at a few other interesting key factors:

Ren is an admitted antisocial with OCD and insomnia who works in what most would consider to be a dehumanizing trade. She is a woman whom should she face violence honestly would have very little legal recourse and admits her industry is patriarchal, yet does not ever use any of those factors as an excuse for her behavior. Anything she has ever actually said, she admits to saying without hesitation and does not blame her mental state, her lack of sleep, or her job. She is also in her line of work by choice.

Gin, who has PTSD and insomnia, who has been to war, and also works in a patriarchal industry plays her disorders and her job as excuse cards all the time. She is also in her line of work by choice.

Ren allows people to question her industry and her role in it, Gin does not. Ren allows people to question her choices, Gin does not.

Curious this, by way of Patriarchal Industries, the military has killed more people, caused more destruction, ruined the lives of more people, and caused more trauma than the sex industry- without question. Also, the taxes of people like Ren (sex worker) pay people like Ginmar (soldier).

Other things to look at:

“Violent Statements”- ah yes, Ren has some good ones. Aside from the die choking one, I’ve seen Ren tell people to go fuck themselves with a crowbar, suck her strap on in hell, kiss her glock, and express the desire to “stick a boot right up this meatsack's holier than thou ass, twist it to the left, and tell her it doesn't really mean anything, it's just an occupational risk” (referring to judge Deni), as well as throw sharp, flaming things at the same judge’s head. There is also the more mundane “fuck you” kind of statements.

At Gin’s, there is plenty of fuck you, fuck off, I’d kick your ass, I want to beat up my neighbors/my enemies, whomever, I wish I could do more than ------- your ass, you wouldn’t/better not ever say that to my face, I’m military trained, I’d like to slap/kick/hit/strangle person or group of persons X, so on so forth.

So, let’s see, lots of rage and violent sentiment on both blogs. The difference is Ren is more creative. That’s it. Ren expresses her violent statements in a much more colorful and literary impacting manner. Thus, Ren gets more style points in terms of violent statements. She’s not made more of them, hers are just better, or conversely, worse.

“Selfishness, arrogance & ego feeding”- Ren is accused of all of these things quite often. She herself has admitted that her primary concern in this life is the safety and happiness of those closest to her and herself. Which, I recon, makes her honest. I suspect most people are more concerned with the safety and happiness of our significant others, kids, parents, family, loved ones, friends, allies, and ourselves than we are with Jane X in location far, far away who we do not know at all. Ren just admits it. I also know for a fact that Ren is not nearly as horrible in these aspects as people would like to make her out to be…she had no reason to send my roommate Val a “get well soon” card after her transitioning/breast surgery and gift card for Macy’s…. but she did. And for as much as some people whine about Ren’s blog being all about Ren…

Well, here’s a bit of shocking intel for you: it’s her blog. Ren’s a sex worker, who has had plastic surgery, who is a sex workers rights advocate, who likes porn, football, muscle cars, running, and guns…of course that’s what she’s going to write about. Oh, she also differentiates between sex workers and prostituted women. But if you think that’s all there is, you’re blind. I repeat, blind. If you can manage to move your arthritic slime covered eyes to her sidebar, what’s this? Sweet Madonna! I see tags for choice, abuse, gaming, politics, law, history, art, gender, media, news, race, rape, responsibility & language, among other things. As for rad fem bashing…well, one, all things considered, she has plenty of reason to do so. Outright lies, threats, lots of this type of slander and speculation that Gin and her supporters are throwing at her, why ever should she not hate a lot of these people’s guts? What, do you expect to lie and speculate about her endlessly and basically say “You’re a selfish, stupid, sociopath whiner who is soulless, honorless, something that isn’t actually the word whore but is close enough, inhuman and a destroyer” and expect her to turn around and say “Wow, you women are awesome, I love you, you really do care about all women and sexworkers and autonomy! You’re simply wonderful!” I think not.

Oh my with the ego feeding thing here too. Is Ren arrogant? Yes, I think she is. No more or no less than a lot of people out there though, yet she is not afraid to make fun of herself either or admit when she’s wrong or where her weaknesses are. For those who would suggest that Ren only allows her allies (“minions” & “sycophants” & “enablers”) to comment on her blog, or engage her in a debate or discussion, all I have to say is you are flat out wrong. Which shows me another difference. Where Ren can and does these things, Gin does not. Gin can never admit she is wrong or hurtful. Gin’s blog is filled with Gin and People Who Agree With Gin…when Laurelin suggested Gin might have been too harsh on Antiprincess, she did so while stating she didn’t want to start a fight, and Gin beat her back into line right quick, and Laurelin went, tail between her legs without question. There’s very little discussion or actual disagreement with Gin on Gin’s blog…it is all Gin; Gin’s views, Gin’s decrees, Gin’s feminism, Gin’s truth, Gin & Toxic, and everyone nodding, smiling, and agreeing with Gin. And let’s see, what about Gin’s blog? This is Real Feminism- Gin’s Way! News stories. Military stuff. Cats, Horror movies and lit, Gin’s daily trials and tribulations, Gin’s shitty neighbors, Gin, Gin, Gin. Which is fine, it’s Gin’s journal, but I wouldn’t speculate about someone’s else’s ego feeding, attention seeking and need for validation when…you are a LEGEND in the wank communities, credited with trolling, starting blog wars, being an ass, and a whiner, derailing, making stupid assumptions and declarations, and…

You get the picture I’m sure.

And what is it with this line that Ren wants validation from the Radical Feminists? Funny, I thought they were all under the impression that Ren wanted them…dead? Violently? I see an odd slip of logic here. Validation or Death? Hum. I’ll have the cake please! What I think Ren wants, what she has said more than a few times, is that she wishes that PEOPLE, including Radical Feminists, would stop making blanket assumptions and using stereotypes, recognize that there is no Universal Truth, no one single way for all women, and recognize that people can make choices vastly different from other peoples choices and show some respect for the autonomy of those women who choose differently from Radical Feminists…which hey, sounds pretty feminist to me, but what do I know? I mean, being a hairy 5’10”, 187 pound lesbian woman of color I’m sure I know nothing about stereotypes, people assuming their choices are better than mine, being made fun of, and people figuring they are smarter and better than I am, and that they know what’s best for me.

Ah, but yes, Gin and her Allies hate “choice” feminism and the “Sex Pox”. In fact, they seem to bitch about it as much on their blogs as Ren bitches about Radical Feminism on hers. Funny that. Now, let’s look at our two combatants and their allies. Let’s see…Ren has women with disabilities, het women, bi women, transwomen, lesbian women, religious women, women who are not religious, single women, married women, mothers, women without kids, women of color, even, what’s this, some radical feminist leaning women, women from all political views, and yep, a couple dudes. None of who agree with her 100% on anything. Gin has…radical feminists who agree with Gin.

So what were we on about with the ego stroking and validation and sycophants and whining and whatnot again?

Oh, right. Pot, Kettle, Ginmar!

I also really want to look at this:

This whole narcissism thing? Now, what is seems Ren is actually being accused of is “Malignant Narcissism”, which Otto Kernberg described as a syndrome characterized by a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), antisocial features, paranoid traits, and ego-syntonic aggression. Some also may find an absence of conscience, a psychological need for power, and a sense of importance (grandiosity). Pollock wrote: "The malignant narcissist is presented as pathologically grandiose, lacking in conscience and behavioral regulation with characteristic demonstrations of joyful cruelty and sadism." Kernberg claimed that malignant narcissism should be considered part of a spectrum of pathological narcissism, which he saw as ranging from the Cleckley's antisocial character (today's psychopath) at the high end of severity, to malignant narcissism, to NPD at the low end.

Kernberg wrote that malignant narcissism can be differentiated from psychopathy because of the malignant narcissists' capacity to internalize "both aggressive and idealized superego precursors, leading to the idealization of the aggressive, sadistic features of the pathological grandiose self of these patients." According to Kernberg, the psychopaths' paranoid stance against external influences makes them unwilling to internalize even the values of the "aggressor", while malignant narcissists "have the capacity to admire powerful people, and can depend on sadistic and powerful but reliable parental images." Malignant narcissists, in contrast to psychopaths, are also said to be capable of developing "some identification with other powerful idealized figures as part of a cohesive 'gang' ... which permits at least some loyalty and good object relations to be internalized."

Does Ren seem to exhibit some of those traits? Yes, she does. Do many people, inculding Ginmar, seem to exhibit some of these traits? Yes they do. In this Clash of Titans we have going on right now, Gin and her “gang” have been far more joyful, cruel and sadistic, as well as fostering the bond via loyalty. I shouldn’t have to mention grandiose either.

And I do want to talk about low blows. Two really stood out in my mind: One was the completely revolting attack on Antiprincess and her unborn child, and the other was the numerous comments on Ren's age and how she is just so mean because she is getting too old to do her job and has no back up plan. How are either of those things feminist in nature? Answer, they aren't. I suspect Antiprincess will be a fine mother to her child (better than any of yours if those comments are any indication) and lookswise Ren is 36 going on 28 with a body better than 90% of the 18 year olds I see running around on the Miami beaches, and has plenty of options for when she leaves sexwork (hello, two degrees, law school, mechanic, maker of pornography). It's like they have this sick need for Antiprincess to be a bad mother and for Ren to be old, ugly and tossed out of her industry on her g-stringed ass in order to make themsevles feel better about the shit they spew. It really is sick.

Thus, in conclusion, I, observer, must declare that though this war may not be over, the Red Corner is winning. They have fought more fairly, more cleanly, more honestly, using fact and truth more often than personal insult, exageration, assumption and lies. I find it downright funny to see a bunch of not “feminist” individuals and “honorary men” stand, aim, and sneer down a bunch of “real feminists” who sound like a group of cheerleaders gossiping in the locker room and placating the vicious squad leader.

I will leave now with this: Belle, you wonder why they are going after Ren rather than you, when you have been far more outright aggressive? Because in their oh so serious Real Feminist Heads Ren is actually winning at the game of life, even under the patriarchy. She has brains, looks, friends, a signficant other, money, employement, a house, a GTO, a hot tub and getting any and all of that has not killed her yet. She rolls through life like a cocky gunslinger and doesn’t let the Weight Of The Almighty Opression Dwell In Every Thought Or Moment. She’s not tortured enough for them, and on top of that, she’s hot and a sexworker. How dare she? I suspect it rankles them to their cores, because everything that is wrong in their lives and their world is somehow her fault, and true or not, she can still stand in as a surrogate. I mean, didn’t we all at one time or another make up lies and spread rumors or say nasty things about the capitan of the cheerleaders or the homecoming queen even if we knew nothing about her? She seemed to have it all, we didn’t. This just strikes me as the “adult” version of that.

Now I’m off, back to the front lines!

This is me dying from lack of surprise!

Ginmar doesn't like to be advised of reality

She banned me though, so I couldn't say this:

"You can ban me if you want, yes, Ren is my friend. I am just saying that she's not known for deleting comments and Lauren tried to explain what was going on with Feministe. I don't actually want to fight with you, I just didn't know if you'd seen Lauren's post. That's all. Nor do I think you will ever have to worry about helping her, which I think would please you.

I won't come back here, that's fine, I just thought you might want an explanation for why your comments were stuck or lost or whatever."

But, since she BANNED ME AND ALL and wishes she could MORE than ban my dishonest ass (is that a threat?) I have to ask, just who the hell is she to whine about censorship and comment deletion?

FFS, do the double standards get any more obvious? Is the hypocrisy any more blatant? I get the distinct impression Ren would rather be skinned alive than ever ask Ginmar or any other Super Special Radical Feminist for help.

Wow, it's funny when people are guilty of everything they accuse everyone else of being guilty of. It really, really is!

School, work, the usual. Also, my sister is getting married to her long time boyfriend, and they will end up with a blended family. She has a daughter (4) that she has custody of, and he has a daughter (6) that he has custody of, and the girls have the same birthday. I guess that makes things easy!

My cousin (who is like a brother really) is getting divorced from his wife of 10 years. The reason? Well, he feels like living with her has become like living with a buddy and not a wife, and she has no desire to be more “wife-like”. They haven’t had sex in four years. I like his wife, I think they will (we will) all still be friendly, but I’m not too surprised.

Val is going in for her breast surgery on Sept. 17th. She’s pretty excited.

Min and I are doing good.

I apparently have a vitamin D deficiency. I don’t see how this can happen to anyone living in Miami, but strange enough, it has.

Speaking of Florida-

Things that Floridians know

"Down South" means Key West

"Panhandling" means going to Pensacola.

You think no-one over 70 should be allowed to drive.

Flip-flops are everyday wear.

Shoes are for business meetings and church.

No, wait, flip flops are good for church too, unless it's Easter or
Christmas.

Sweet tea can be served at any meal.

An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.

You smirk when a game show's "Grand Prize" is a trip or cruise to
Florida.

You measure distance in minutes.

You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.

You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.

All the local festivals are named after a fruit.(Except Springing the Blues,
Jazz Fest and the Shrimp Festival)
A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

You think everyone from a bigger city has a northern accent.

You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer, not summer
But really hot, and Christmas.

It's not soda, cola, or pop...its coke, regardless of brand or flavor,
"What kind of coke you want?"

Anything under 95 is just warm.

Anything under 70 is chilly.

You've hosted a hurricane party.

You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the
Best rides.

You pass on the right and honk at the elderly.

You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.

You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Withlacoochee, Okahumpka and
Loxahatchee.

You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than have a
Boat yourself.

Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include: various fish,
NRA, and a confederate flag.

You were 8 before you realized they made houses without pools.

You were 12 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.

You get angry when people say "Florida isn't really part of the SOUTH"

You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.

You know what the "stingray shuffle" is, and why it's important!

Socks are only for bowling

Orange juice from concentrate makes you vomit

Tap water makes you vomit

You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five
Minutes

A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but
Everything to do with shade.

Your winter coat is made of denim

You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites

You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65

You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.

You could swim before you could read

You have to drive north to get to The South

You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.

You've gotten out of school early on Halloween to trick or treat before
It got dark

You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up
For.

You dread love bug season.

You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't
Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances...but Charley, Frances, Ivan and
Jeanne.

You know what a snowbird is and you hate them.

You know why flamingos are pink.

You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.

You were twelve before you ever saw snow or you still haven't.


Oh, and that Feministe thread, can I just say "Bleh?"

And Amanda? Can I just say "Snerk"?

Two of my favorite bloggers seem to have gone on walkabout. Kim & Ren. I don’t really wonder why but my inner selfish fangirl is pissed and annoyed. One of my other favorite bloggers, antiprincess, is back, and another favorite, belledame seems tentative these says.

I’m selfish and angry. See, I love these women’s blogs. I don’t always agree with them, but I love them anyway. They often say what I won’t, or can’t, or don’t. Kim and antiprincess are so damn human its beautiful. Belledame is so clever and sharp. Ren is so angry and sarcastic and raw. They’re so real to me. Their words are real and razorwire and wonderful. Not a bunch of self aggrandizing proganda for goddess, queen and cuntry, but real, human words.

I see all the whining and moaning about what’s happened to Heart and BB and whomever else and while I don’t like the methods, I just can’t bring myself to care. Every single one of the “YayPornies” spoke up and said that it was wrong, and still the bullshit, and I know for a fact that not a single one of these Womyn would stand up and even say that if fortunes were reversed…Ren is living proof of that.

I’m tired of seeing people, real people, whole people, getting kicked. Kim, antiprincess, Trinity, Ren, BlackAmazon, Bint. All getting kicked, used, mocked, disregarded, and then you wonder why they are burnt out, or enraged, or jaded?

Min, Val and I (all WoC’s, btw) actually watched the 300 tonight, and Sweet Madonna, how can Ren’s love of it be such a mystery? I suspect she feels like those movie Spartans ALL THE TIME.

I want them all back. I want them blogging. I don’t care who they piss off or piss on. I am selfish and angry.

Some of my favorites from around the blogworld this week:


BlackAmazon is amazing

Presidental Candidate Heart makes me want to vomit

Radical Feminist Laurelin weighs in on empowerment

Feminist Expatriate Renegade Evolution weighs in on empowerment

(Compare and Contrast)

Stormy-

You keep threatening Ren, you will get some karma, sister. The same tactics you've used? I'm more than ready to use them myself. Keep it in mind, you imperious, egomanical bitch. Two can play this game, and while Ren might not stoop to it, I sure as hell will. Get it? Understand? I certainly hope so.

How's everyone? Good I hope! I've been working a lot lately, so that's why I've not been around, and my life is kind of boring. Min and I are still together. She, Val and I are thinking of moving into a bigger place in August.

That's my news, really. I got nothing for you.

Well, except if I advocated violence, I'd want to hit witchy woo in the head with a broom.

There’s a Henchwoman sleeping on my couch!

Yes, I’ve now met the gonzo jackbooted thug of feminist blogworld in person! Guess what? She really is kind of short! She arrived here late yesterday afternoon, without Mr. Evolution (apparently he was off to play golf and do man things) and I’ll tell you what, she looks a lot different in person than what I was expecting. She’s not totally...porny, even though she’d just come from doing porny things!! Well, she did have a lot of eye makeup on, but other than that? Tres Butch, Ren is. Striking, but butch. Big baggy low rise cargo shorts, black tank top, army boots, ponytail that had survived Miami rush hour in a convertible, and oh, a wallet chain! Wallet chains are sexy! I tell you, aside from the makeup and the boobs, dear little Ren would make the femmes swoon! And she is buff. I have a policy of hating people with very little body fat, and an extensive knowledge of biology, and I can tell you this, Ren may be short, but she is one of those rare female mesomorphs. Very angular, broad shoulders, very defined everything. The woman has no hips...hipbones, but no hips. Did I mention I was really hoping she actually wore jackboots? Alas, US Army issue, I’m so disappointed!

So, she showed up and had dinner with me, Min (the girlfriend) and Val (my roommate). Val is a really good cook, so we ate at our place. Ren likes to eat. She was putting away the black beans and rice like there was no tomorrow. She and Val hit it off immediately. I think Val asked her a million questions about her job, and I thought for sure Ren was going to loose it and punch her, but no, all remained calm. Min warmed up to her a bit after about a half an hour (Min jokingly admitted that at first she thought Ren was “a threat to her manhood”, but once she figured out Ren really was pretty dang straight, everything was fine.) Ren and Val had an absurd conversation about implants (Val is slated to get hers sometime next year…for those not in the know, Val is MtF and is planning on getting the whole surgery). It was a nice dinner, but I’ll tell you this, Ren (who did actually tell me her real name, but damn if I can pronounce it correctly, so we all just called her Ren, which she seemed fine with) talks really, really fast and has no accent at all whatsoever. None. Not a northerner accent, or a midwest one, or a southern one, nothing. She also hardly uses contractions when speaking, and yep, swears like a sailor (though she does swear less when actually talking than in her writing). The woman is funny though. She has some great facial expressions too. I’d say she’s not so much a girlie Howard Stern as a girlie Dennis Miller.

So after dinner we did dishes, and yep, Ren helped, at which point Min and I noticed if there is music on, and it has words in it, and Ren knows those words, she has what seems to be an unconscious habit of singing along under her breath. Very quietly, but actually singing. And she seems to know most of the words to almost every song made prior to 2000 or so. Oh, and she can sing. She can sing well. So, what did we decide to do next?

Well, unbeknownst to Ren herself, Val, Min and I plotted and took her to our favorite freak Karaoke bar! (Min loves Karaoke, says it’s “an Asian thing”.) Now, I say it’s a freak Karaoke bar because pretty much everyone there is gay, and kind of freaky, and they don’t do all top 40 pop tunes. There’s a wide variety of songs for drunk people to sing, often badly! We got a pitcher of beer and some nachos, hung out, yelled at each other over the generally bad karaoke for awhile, then Min talked Ren into doing a song with her, and well, a few moments later we were treated to a really, really good rage-filled version of Joan Jett’s “Bad Reputation”. It was pretty funny to see these two short, angry, wiry, butchy, tattooed women busting out with that one, even funnier for me considering both Ren and Min’s respective reputations within their various circles! But yes, Ren can sing, and is a really good showman (showwoman?). She can also sing just about anything, which we learned when she also did a really, really, incredible job on U2’s “With or without you”, the Stray Cats “Stray Cat Strut” (which had a few femme girls hitting on her afterwards…and she did handle that with grace and style), Jane’s Addiction’s “Of Course” and “I put a spell on you” by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins. And all this after only about two beers! Val and Min had Ren (and me) in stitches when they did “Love Shack” by the B-52’s as well.

We left the Karaoke bar around 11 and walked up the street to play a few games of pool. That was fun. Val proved to be the most proficient pool player, cleaning our respective clocks several times, which is not easy. It seems none of us are what you would call bad pool players. We had fun with that, then wandered around for awhile, people watching, then we headed back to the apartment around 2, went swimming, and then Ren took up the invite to crash on my couch and we all went to bed.

Trust me on this one, people; she really is, for such an angry, mean, threatening asshole, a really nice person with a great sense of humor.

She is also, as I am learning now, not a morning person. She’s giving me the evil eye from the couch as we speak. She also apparently does not drink coffee. And now that it’s down and out of a ponytail, I can with authority tell you she has really long, gorgeous hair, and that hair adds significantly to her porny-ness. It seems she wants to take us out for breakfast before heading back to her hotel. I'm not one to turn down a free breakfast, so, on that note-

Later!

Blogging for Sex Education:

I’m Catholic. I went to Catholic school. Biology we learned, including how babies were made, but sex education was something I got from speaking to other kids, in the library, and from watching the Health Channel. My area of specialty, academically, is biology, thus, I know about the mechanics of sex.

But I cannot say I had a good sex education. Sex was rarely talked about outside the bonds of marriage in my home. Homosexuality was never discussed until I came out as bisexual. My mother explained having a period pretty well, but STD’s and unwanted pregnancy were something that happened to “bad girls”.

That sort of education left me terrified, ashamed of my body, and full of questions.

You will read other posts that have facts and figures, you will read posts that are longer, better worded, more inspirational than this one. All I can say is I grew up with abstinence only sex education…and it messed up my views about myself and sexuality as a whole in a big way.

And my unmarried sister grew up feeling the same way and also has a child.

So no, it doesn’t work, and it hurts.

You wondered if I’d ever update again, didn’t you? Wonder no more! What’s been going on in Rosa’sWorld? School. Followed by more school. Yes, summer session is standard for me. Other than school? Not too much, school keeps me busy. Organic Chemistry is the Devil!

I’m still dating the same woman! Min. We’ve not moved in together or anything rash, but we’re still dating. She spends a lot of time over here. I like that. My roommate adores her, and that is a good thing. I love my roommate but she can be hard to get along with. They both suck though because they sit around and laugh and have drinks and play Play station while I have to study. NO FAIR NO FAIR! It’s MY play station! Min is the master of GTA though. I suspect she may have actually stolen a car or two in her youth- but I say nothing!

I suspect I missed the brunt of the drama due to school, for the best I will assume, but I also missed female desire week! I know that party wrapped up, but I’m making the blog equivalent to a fond toast to the party today, because I missed the real party.

Forgive me now, I’m objectifying women!

I’m bisexual, but I really, really prefer women. Men will do in a pinch, but I love women. I’m picky though. I really don’t have the right to be so picky, all things considered, but I have a type I really prefer. I guess I would describe the type of women that I really like as “neo-butch”? Girls who dress or act butch but still look sort of femme? Sort of punk rock riot girl types? I like girls who look like the boys Cassandra likes, but with less makeup? Oh, I’m going to lesbian hell!

Take Min for instance. Min really is my ideal type. She’s tiny, which really doesn’t matter to me a whole lot; she just happens to be small. Barely 5’0” and maybe 105? But she has muscles. Not big ones, but lean dancer/gymnast kind of muscles. Like a panther! Raaar! She also has a bit of a pixie face. She says she looks like a Korean Elf. Which is true. She doesn’t have curves so to speak, but she still looks female? Her “butch” is all wardrobe and attitude. Baggy jeans, wallet chain, hoodies or tank tops, army boots. All the time. She could almost be a “boi”, but she doesn’t have the macho/player attitude. Spiked up punk hair, and ink. Lots and lots of ink! Full sleeves and a full back piece (well, she is a tattoo artist). She doesn’t wear makeup, except lip gloss and very, very rarely, eyeliner. She also has a ton of piercings, in places we won’t discuss. Well, I will say I am considering nipple rings and leave it at that. She shaves her pits only. She wears men’s cologne and yes, drives a Ford F150. She can barely see over the dashboard, but she drives it. She also surfs. Min is the sexiest woman I know. I think “neo-butch” is hot. Pink, Joan Jett, yes, they do it for me.

Oh, both Kim and Ren, girlie as they want to pretend to be? Well, they count as neo-butch. Any women who love boots, ink, jeans and tank tops that much are at least novice neo-butchlings. Girls, I am objectifying you! I suspect out of work someone has to pry that damn CSI baseball hat off of Ren’s head with a crowbar and Kim probably has 10 of the exact same black tank top. Teehee, you’d make Great Lesbians!

This is a lame entry. I’m going to stop tying now and play play station.

And NO, I’m not under the evil mind control of General Gonzo, obviously the most ruthless, despicable, depraved scumbag thug to ever walk the earth, much less stalk the internet. Oh, wait? Did I say stalk? Wrong word. That jackbooted whore doesn’t stalk. Stalking and outing are Other People’s Methods. You know, Stormy for instance. Because Ren just was so incredibly whorrific and vile and aggressive the only way to silence her was to threaten her? Yeah, THAT’S a feminist thing to do! Post her info, semi-public or not, and her unaltered photos for people to see, with no regard for if such things might get her arrested, or raped, or beat up, or stalked…no...wait…you were already stalking her in several ways, or hey, killed by some hater out there. You think that is far-fetched, you fucking harpies? Have you seen the things people say to her? The threats she’s already received? FOR AS MUCH TIME AS YOU SPENT COMPILING YOUR DATA FROM HER BLOG AND OTHER SOURCES YOU MIGHT HAVE NOTICED THAT SHE’S HAD AIDS WISHED ON HER, A THREAT TO STRANGLE HER, SOMEONE SUGGEST SHE WOULD BE BETTER OFF CUT UP IN A DUMPSTER and other colorful fantasies. And guess what? What you just did to her? NO BETTER. In fact, it was WORSE. And you call yourself feminists?

I was impressed to see a few of the rad fem posse actually condemn the act of outing, though I did notice none of them really went out of their way to tell you what a vile, power-tripping crusader piece of shit you are for it. There’s a surprise. I also loved how throughout that entire bullshit-dripping thread, Ren, the Evil Mastermind of all Things Wrong in the Lives of Radical Feminists remained CIVIL, WAY MORE civil than deserved, and made not a single personal attack as she was being called a plethora of choice names, talked about like she wasn’t smart enough to read it, insulted, degraded, dehumanized, othered, slandered, called out, shit on, and threatened by feminists. Women who care about women. And never blame the sex worker. And never endanger women. And seek to stamp out degradation and dehumanizing and othering. Unless you happen to be a Henchwoman Thug, or Belledame, or Andrea, or Amber, or Kim, or AntiPrincess…or part of team Yay Porn…which is the stupidest fucking name ever since the only one of the whole lot who actually loves the porn is Ren! I guess that is reason enough for some people…

And besides, she has mind control! Apparently, Ren has CORRUPTED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US and destroyed our status as thinking, independently functioning women and turned us all into cock-sucking, porn watching, slut-dressing, fake-breasted TOOLS OF THE PATRIARCHY!!! Newsflash, harpies, I’m a hairy, butch-looking WoC with real boobs, and I HATE sucking cock and have no desire to EVER watch any more gonzo porn than I’ve already seen at this point. Whoops! Sorry! You’re wrong and you suck! She isn’t “preying upon us weak, broken women”, if anything, your assholery and bullshit has sent a lot of us knocking on her door.

Then you try to make her responsible for our words? For fucksake, how stupid ARE you? I'm responsible for my words, not her. I can’t believe some of you would want to be held responsible for Pony’s words, really, so why think Ren should be responsible for ours? The word for that? ABSURD.

She agrees to “leave you alone”, Stormy acts like a heroine of the people, it’s mentioned that the insults should stop, and…

From the Rad Fem side…

Insult, insult, insult. Insult Ren, Amber, Antiprincess, insult, insult whine.

Blame Ren.

You Are Fucking Morons, Idiots, Harpies, Assholes, and Shitty Human beings who stooped to and allowed and Enabled Threats, Intimidation, Terrorism and every other low form of bullshit in an attempt to silence a woman who disagreed with you and REACTED to the SHIT BEHAVIOR AND LIES thrown at her.

Congratulations you wastes of tissue. I’d say fall under a truck, but it has been done…and I’d hate to see the driver waste tires and a grill on shitstains like you.

Sincerely-
Rosa Valez
Student
Miami Fl

Save that for your files, never know when you’ll need to jump up with the SS tactics again!

Ren is right, this is bullshit...

http://renegadeevolution.blogspot.com/2007/04/justify-this.html

(NSFW, potentially disturbing imagery)

Amber, good eye for BS you have there, you pole-dancer, you!

Ren, come here, turn around, let me pull that knife out of your back.

Hey Vera, I think this belongs to you?

Ok, somebody tell me if I have this all wrong…

School is taking up my life at the moment so I’ve missed the dramarama…

There were two big intrablog movements last week, one started by Cassandra Says about feminine desire (a fun issue), and one started by Twisty about femininity (apparently not a fun issue), and further back a bit, The Apostate taking a rather harsh stance on rape, men, women, and responsibility that pissed a lot of people off, but a certain jack booted thug agreed with her on some levels.

Somewhere amid all this that same thug, along with Cassandra, Trinity, Kim, Andrea and others took serious umbrage to the wholesale condemnation of all things feminine, and the thug took exception to WitchyWoo mentioning and seemingly questioning her propensity/reasoning for nudity for profit…and being the owner of a blog titled “More Volatile than Vesuvius”, rather than handle that perceived slight and the bashing of “girlie” with a scalpel, the Renegade dealt with it, and the apparent stench of defeat/condemnation wafting off from some radical blogs, in her typical way which conjures to mind axes, heads on pikes, and villages burned to the ground… in short, not delicately…

Then WitchyWoo, apparently pissed at Ms. Mercenary Scorched Earth 2007 (and possibly The Apostate as well, but I can’t really tell) wrote her own “fuck you” post which, well, painted Ms. Mercenary like a heartless, soulless, clueless, narcissistic sellout misogynist whore. To which the Barbarian of Feminist Bloglandia has responded to in a most civil and explanatory tone, I might add…

Yet no word back or peace treaty overture has come back from The Sorceress of Camp Radical, which strikes me a little funny, not in a ha-ha way, since those two have always seemed to be able to work shit out, and in the mean time, Renegade’s blog has turned into the History Channel and Vera has dumped feminist blogging flat out.

Someone care to explain, sum up, offer some insight here for me? I mean, not to be a presumptuous harpy or anything, but frankly, as a bit of a lurker and all, even if she does sometimes have all the human charm and politick of a…well, yeah…Miz Evolution has provided an intelligent mind and much needed boot to the head of the feminist blogsphere, and WitchyWoo always seemed to be fairly reasonable and willing to work things out…and well, dammit, the two of them almost made you think there were issues that feminists from any and all camps could come together on…

Sweet Madonna, and to think I dared to believe!

Meanwhile…BlackAmazon and BfP are kicking major ass, Belledame still rules, and Kim…massive hugs.

edited for anger...

Actually, now, after more carefully reading WitchyWoo's post and the resulting comment thread, I wouldn't blame Renegade at all if she never spoke to the woman again, unless it was to swear at her or bare her teeth and spit. Neither of them named names, but holy crow, Ren pulled a quote, whereas WW pulled a massive, dismissive personal attack. I mean, am I the only one who found that terribly rude, personal, insulting and condescending? Shit, I don't like the porn Ren does, but I hardly think she's "feeding her own narcissism (given the social structure we all survive in) and yelling “hell yeah! The menz love me!”

Forget wanting a peace treaty. That was just fucking low down and uncalled for. Of course, no one will call her on it, because she's the good guy...

I had something to say today. I really did! There were formulated thoughts in my brain and everything, then that wicked she-devil pornographer had to go and do THIS.

So now I'm busy trying to scrape my jaw up off the floor. I can't compete with that. So I'll just nod, and add my femininity is spicy to taste!

It’s true. I’m pissed. Livid. Locura. Angry.

It’s not my natural state. I’m a peaceful wussy. A happy-go-lucky peaceful wussy. Until someone pisses me off. Or a group of people piss me off. Then I become a mouthy, angry wussy.

With a computer.

“Why is Rosa so angry?” I hear you gasp in stunned anticipation, hands clutched to the chest in abject shock?

Well, this, is why…

My reply over there pretty much says it all. But the short version? I am sick of generally uppercrust, educated white girlz thinking they’ve got the total knowledge on everything, and their way is the best way, the voice that matters, and yes, the one that deserves to be heard.

No. Thou Shall Not.

The Renegade threw out an idea, not a half bad one either, but I don’t know.

Now, I am just angry.

...wherein Rosa sets herself up to get in huge amounts of trouble, but since I’m mighty and brave and fearless on the net, I’m going to do it anyway! So there (childish sticking out of the tongue.)

Blog surfing, it’s a popular sport for me when I have free time. I’m too scared of sharks and undertow to actually surf, so I hang a mean 10 on the interwaves. I’ve been reading more WoC blogs, and I admit it, until today, with the exception of one or two, I’d not spent much time looking at radical feminist blogs. Today I spent time doing that.

Shit those women spend some serious time harshing on other women and feminists! Oh, wait, “feminists”, or feminists(?). They can’t even deign to dirty the word by associating it with Certain People (bzzz, sting!). Then, I noticed something…

I’m going to duck now, and someone grab me a misogynist button, please? I’ll need it.

Some of the women that these other women have problems with? From what I’ve seen of them? They’re very attractive, conventionally or not. Black Amazon? Wears make up, statuesque, curvy, lovely skin; she’s like a goddess. She’s beautiful, and a WOMAN, and probably does not want for company when she wants it. Kim? Tall, slim, blonde, cheekbones to kill for, and a mom! If everyone looks like that after having a baby, everyone should do it! She’s also exquisitely inked (a big “fuck you” to patriarchal standards. A butterfly on the ankle is one thing, Kim’s skin is an artwork in and of itself!) She dresses bold and funky and sexy and looks like the type of person who when she walked into a room you couldn’t help but look and smile at her style and spunk, and perhaps wonder what she looked like…in less? (Yes, bad Rosa, bad! You are objectifying both Black Amazon and Kim! Well, sue me, I’m bi and I think they’re both sexy!) Amber? Amber’s like the poster girl of the new breed of sexy. Smart, funky, cute, a woman’s curves and a punky hair cut and glasses. Smart is sexy these days, and Amber not only looks smart, she is smart, and has a really nice figure. Ren, well, Ren looks like a porn star. She’s a walking embodiment of what men perceive as ‘sex’, but not fluff sex, hard sex. She’s too brunette, too buff, too “tinted” and too tattooed not to look like somewhat of a challenge. Laura, from what I’ve seen of her is also a looker, and I saw Crankshaft for the first time today and she’s gorgeous! Sure, Ren is the most “conventional” looking of these women, Amber and Kim have “conventional traits”, but my point here is-

They’re all good looking. The type of women who undoubtedly inspire “The Gaze” no matter what they are or aren’t wearing. However, each and every one of them, even Ren, have some quirk to their appearance that makes them just not jerk off-fodder, but interesting looking as well, human works of art or interest if you will, something that will capture and hold a gaze past “The Gaze” and beyond “I’d like to hit that.” Also, like porn or not, they all seem to be relatively comfortable with their sexuality and unafraid to admit what they like in bed, be that BA’s “sloppy sex” or Ren’s “blunt force trauma” sex. They’re all fierce, smart, captivating, good-looking women.

And I personally wonder (running for cover) if that doesn’t have something to do with the animosity thrown at them. I wonder if maybe some of it’s not just a little bit of jealousy. I know for a fact if Crankshaft, Black Amazon and I walked into a room, both of them would draw eyes first. And attention, even if it’s based on looks or appearance, is attention. Beauty does not always illicit “bimbo”, beauty often equals power. It may suck, but it’s true. A woman who is good looking or striking or handsome, who takes pride in her appearance and shows confidence will be taken more seriously than one who doesn’t. I bet cash money if you threw Amber, Ren, Laura and Kim into business suits they could bluff their way through a ANY male dominated board meeting because not only do they have looks, they have charisma and brains. Cleopatra, anyone? And I think, just maybe, that some feminists don’t like these other feminists in part because of that. Because they have that “beauty can be power” aura.

Just a thought.

What am I?

My grandmother and grandfather on my fathers side were from Spain.
My father was born in Columbia.

My grandmother on my mothers side was born in Trinidad, my grandfather on my mothers side was born in Cuba. My Mother was born in Columbia.

Their people before them? They came from many places, on Spanish boats and on Spanish slave ships.

My mother, and her side of the family, are dark. They are often looked down upon by people of more "pure" Spanish blood. My father saw past that, he has good taste.

As for what I am? I am Rosa, Woman of Color.

I thought I would say that first.

So my second date went well. Wooha.

School is kicking my ass. Spring break won’t be here soon enough! I’m going to go someplace cold. Ha!

If you haven’t noticed, Black Amazon and Renegade Evolution are in hardcore overdrive here lately, and Kim is GONZO! Black Amazon has a great series going with WoC thought, truth and wisdom going on over at her blog, Kim is just wonderful, and Renegade is… Renegade. I have to ask- Belle, what did you slip her before sending her over to the porn thread on the FC blog? Sweet Madonna, she is KILLING people verbally over there and being so cold and polite and simple about it! I have nightmares about that woman if she ever becomes a lawyer. Keep stripping & doing porn, Ren, you are much safer to society that way!

(Oh, but the way you backed the Byrd Man of Area 51 into a corner…a thing of pure beauty, Ren, pure beauty!)

“Stop being such a fangirl, Rosa!

Blah. Off to the lab now…

You’ve all been sitting by your PC’s waiting to hear about my date, right? Humor me and say yes! I would’ve posted earlier about it, but I’ve been ass deep in alligators (literally) for school the past few days.

My date was great though. Her name is Min-Jung, and she is a wee, butch little thing and very funny in a slap-stick sort of way, and she can dance. She also has a whole lot of tattoos. Funny that, being a tattoo artist. We did dinner then a club, which was fun, and we are going out again on Saturday. Did I mention she is sexy? No? She is sexy.

My life otherwise, work, school, school work.

Oh, do yourselves a favor and go read This over at Black Amazons…

And then go play The Body Game over at Ren’s Shack of Depravity…